Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Other Bumble

Hi, this is your Fuzzy speaking. Buzzy has been the star of the show so far, it's about time I at least said hello.

I imagine I'll get comfortable at some point and talk about anything that crosses my mind, anything that comes up during the course of the days...

And ok. I started writing this on the 18th and now it's the 31st, so I'm just going to post.

I love my wife, love my son, having a great time being husband and dad, yes, life is good. Details forthcoming!

And If We've No Place to Go-

While it was snowing furiously a few years ago, I was riding the bus from South Campus to North Campus, and was discussing the snowstorm going on with a few friendly patrons of the bus. One of them was an older woman who talked about the blizzard of '77. She smiled and said that she had been planning a dinner party for a large group, and therefore had a ton of food and good wine in her home. She invited some neighbors and they ate and drank good food and sat by the fireplace for three days while the world went white beyond their windows. She said " I loved it. A big blizzard is nothing when you have good food and good company."

Well, you see, there it is. And if we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

This is my idea for the best Christmas I will never have.

A select group of close friends, coming together in a lovely wintry locale- since I'm dreaming let's say a big ski lodge with cabins for privacy for each couple/person. The lodge itself has a big beautifully stocked kitchen, and we cook together, enjoy the fire and each other's company.

Lights and trees and all sorts of lovely decorations grace the log walls. We cook whatever kind of meal we want- a classic British Christmas, a hodge podge of our very favorite dishes and cookies, whatever we choose.

For a few days, we make our own traditions and make our own Christmas, making and remaking for each other and for ourselves.

I grow weary of the "supposed-to's" I learned a long time ago that my family can never deliver the Christmas I hoped for. The togetherness and the love and peace and joy?

Try emotional and verbal abuse at it's extreme, an overall feeling of rejection and loneliness at it's best. I never fit in, not to one side or the other (of my family). The more people there were, the greater the feeling of being a misfit, and being lonely. At least on my father's side, I knew everyone else felt that way, too.

So when I made good friends in college, when I fell in love with my Dear Fuzzy, I found home and I found the exact scene I wanted to enact around my Christmas tree.

I realized that not everyone's family make them feel like this. So, to all my friends (and my husband) who love their families, love what you have, and value it. And think about one year, maybe, having a dinner party with your friends. A close pleasant gathering where we have a chance to remake our favorite traditions for each other.

December 25th ain't Jesus's birthday...

Follow this link to read the article about a scientist who wanted to figure out when Jesus was really born, because we have all heard that there was some suspicions. Why would an emperor call for mass travel in the winter? The article states that by the arrival of a massive star, they were able to pinpoint Jesus's birth to June 17th. So why do we celebrate on December 25th?

I don't really want to burst anyone's bubble, but I just thought I'd do something that so classically me: Rocking everyone's boat, challenging everyone's comfort zone, and aiming to burst the big fat bubble full of crap, and then saying, I don't really wanna wreck anybody's ideas....
So yeah. I was listening to the radio preacher this morning, as I do every morning, and every one of the pastors are talking about "the reason for the season" and the focus really being Christ. BUT HE WASN'T BORN ON DEC 25th. How can you yell at anyone (or gently remind everyone) about the real reason for the season and then tell them it's Christ, when it was really several winter solstice festivals, and possibly associated with Semiramis's consort/son Tammuz. Babylonian festivals...always sneaking into our holidays.

The reason for the season was a pagan festival. In that case, bring on the presents, trees, decor, and other things that have nothing to do with Jesus....yeehaa....

Why does no one comment on these things when preaching? Why does no one ever talk about the fact that over all this is a pagan holiday and most of it's celebration is pagan in origin? Because it's such a huge part of the culture, and tradition. This really takes the air out of any huffy puffy churchy folk, doesn't it? I mean, don't get me wrong,

Jesus must always be the center and focus of our lives if we follow Him and seek Him-

I'm just tired of people getting up in arms about that which does not truly matter. And I love the good things about Christmas, how everyone gets so excited about celebrating, and it truly accomplishes the thing we need most in the dark winter nights:

It brightens us up, and we seek each other out. But then again, upped suicide rates kinda suck....If you have a good support system, then Christmas really rocks!

I like doing the Jewish thing: Chinese food and a movie on Christmas Eve/ Day.

So there's my rock in the boat.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

O ye mothers, gather ye rosebuds while ye may

It was the pile of clothes growing next to the baby's dresser that did it. I found myself opening drawers to dress him, and pulling out everything he'd outgrown. At first I was concerned with the little picture- We need to get him more clothes, because he had only a few shirts and two pairs of pants... And then I realized what it really meant. My son blasted through the 3-6 month clothes and is now out of the 6 month size as well. Some brands fit him at 6-9 mos. size, and some he fits into the 12mos. He is not yet six months old.

When did he suddenly get so big? Why didn't I realize before now how much has happened? There are four packed garbage bags full of clothes that he doesn't fit into anymore. When I looked back at him, he was the length of the changing table. He doesn't fit into the sink for his bath.

I have just begun to understand what everyone keeps telling me- "It goes by so fast".

It's very tempting to keep thinking forward, keep looking to the future, to say I can't wait for him to crawl, to talk, to walk, to eat solid foods, etc. And while this is a delicate and hard to impart feeling, I have begun to appreciate how fast it really goes. When he was a newborn, I could not wait for that phase to be over. But things get easier and harder as he grows. I've begun to notice how large he's getting, and realizing that he used to fit in one arm instead of two.

Almost a feeling of regret, that somehow I didn't notice each little detail before this, but that's not true. Perhaps it just hit me, that he really is growing at a breakneck speed, and I've only just realized what that will mean.

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may- your baby only has one first year, and there will never be a time like this in all his life. Security is easily defined with a glance towards a loving caretaker's direction. Love is everywhere he stretches his hand, and there is nowhere to go but forward. Why rush independence? He will push me and his father away in the years to come, for many different reasons. Why should I persuade him in favor of autonomy when he will rush after it in just a few months? For now let my baby sleep next to us, for now let him sleep on my chest, gripping my shirt. For now, let him have all of me and Daddy that he can stand. For now, I will gladly carry him on my hip and struggle to do things it would be easier to do two handed.

My son is growing, and I have only begun to understand what this truly means. Good thing it happened today, because tomorrow, he'll be a whole new boy.